Guitar: Glen Kimura
Bass: Peter Andrews
Drums: Scott Behrens
Vocals: Billy Duplain
Old Sins Casting Cold Shadows
I DREAM ALIVE and surrounded by soft light from above, a steady stream of warmth seems to pour through me like the sun. When whispered sly: ‘The life you lead is nothing more than a guise, a soul in waiting but you could exist the way your meant to right here by my side. A life of art and beauty - sublime - yet still you hide in an existence that will only deny your inner longings.’
With wild eyes I look about me, as spread wide lies a valley that grows vast with colors, burning, an oasis for open minds. Its what I have prayed for in my waking life: a blank page, an open canvas, the freedom to just let my mind run for ages, let it all run wild. And he takes my hand, the familiarity makes me smile.
‘We will dine on bread and water. The communion will take its place in the silence of eternal life.’
THEN A NOISE slams through my head, waking me as if from death. Light bleaches my face through the panes, as I crawl from my bed, slowly making my way towards the blaze, I stumble through shadows. Looking out at the world below and how the dirt seems to permeate me with every single robotic life, I can see the image of my art decaying. When I look in their eyes I can see my reflection, a hollow haunting that I feel inside staring back like a specter, and although we may all seem the same, I know none of this will be eternal. For in my fingers I can feel the difference of flesh thats fleeting and of love, creation, intentions to become more, and I KNOW THIS WORLD IS NOT FOR ME. As I languish in the thoughts that plague my existence, of what I know to be the truth thats just beyond my reach, but how long will I continue this war with a world thats not for me? The push and pull of static misery is a noise stuck in my head that drains away the only things I believe, the simple tendencies, when all I want to do is express my art, which is my being and to draw a little feeling from those who may be hiding the same tormented feelings in their heavy mind and secret shameful hearts...but this world is not for me. Not now that I’ve seen the valley, the place of my relief. I know it was more than a dream, for I can still feel it somewhere deep in the true part of me SPEAKING THE WORDS OF FREEDOM, like a path in front of me that leads to a majestic world draped in eternal peace.
'I know it takes more to tear yourself from the world instead of just cutting the veins that tie you to all that you hate. You must commune with all the voices within. You must commit yourself to spilling forth all the weight that has been building in vain, a belief that its all for the cause of living in faith. So empty out those lies and let them drain down the palms of your now open hands that are washed, ready and for once truly poised to pray.’
WITH MY EYES CLOSED I can feel a cool breeze blow through my hair, but that sensation of life, it slowly drains from my mind and into the earth below, falling into the cold that is wrapping me in what I had hoped to find on the other side. But there is no sound and no light, so I can’t find the valley of graves or the the beauty and peace he said would await my entrance to this, what appears to be nothing more than death. Now, wanting to turn but feeling the end wrap around my heart, I am consumed by the silence and can’t feel a beat anymore. I wonder at how I can even form this last regard for the life that I have left. My vision now burns, the blackness begins to trickle with light. Images appear like some sort of synopsis for my life, but with each passing flash all I can see is the tall, dark, knight, unlike before, a finality looms in his eyes.
‘I bring you beauty in silence. My art is eternity gifted to you in the grandeur of love…of love in death complete.’
credits
released April 1, 2022
Recorded and engineered by Scott Evans at Antisleep Audio
Mastered by Brad Boatright at Audioseige
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